We should not be so taken up in the search for truth, as to neglect the duties of active life; for it is only action that gives a true value and commendation to virtue. — Marcus Tullius Cicero
I’ve neglected this blog. I apologize. “Real life” has kind of taken over. Wait . . . that’s not accurate. Or fair. It’s all real. What I mean is, some things going on in my life have taken a priority over other things. I haven’t been able to keep you properly updated on everything that’s been going on. Nothing earth shattering . . . but that’s okay. After all, it’s just real life.
I’m currently re-reading Richard Hill’s book, Finding Family. I devoured it quickly several months ago, at that time I was mostly interested in how DNA testing fit into the search for his biological family. It’s a fascinating story that begins before the internet even existed and continues through the evolution of science and technology. I won’t spoil the story for you (you should read it!), but I keep thinking about how patient he was. His search over the decades was methodical and creative at times. Before the internet appeared on the scene, “research” was done with a lot of legwork (especially difficult if you are researching something that happened in another state or another even another country), hit and miss telephone calls, and dogged determination. Understandably, there were periods over the nearly 3-decade time period when nothing happened. No progress was made. Sometimes years went by with his search just sitting on the back burner. He got busy with “real life.”
Real life includes it all: your health and the health of your family members, your marriage (or your relationship with your significant other), family, friends, kids in school, kids in sports, adult kids moving back home, aging parents that need help more and more, career, hobbies, etc. At any moment, the juggling act to keep it all going can be thrown out of whack. Throw in a search for biological family members and all of the emotional ups and downs that go with it. Something has to give.
Needless to say, my real life has gotten a little crazy lately. I know I don’t need to explain it to you because I know that each and every one of you have experienced some sort of personal crisis or something that seemed to suddenly throw your life into chaos or elevated stress mode. So I apologize for the lag in between posts. Enough said about that.
There is good news. I’m happy to report that Jackson and I are communicating again. Apparently the communication “breakdown” was caused by a new e-mail address and a problem with e-mail servers not accepting mail from certain domains. We’ve figured it out and all is well. He’s still the open-hearted, sweet man he always has been. We even video chatted! It was totally by accident (my son just pushed the button and handed me the phone and there he was!) and I was totally unprepared, but it was really fantastic to talk to him “face-to-face.” He still has questions and still wants to know more about Margaret. I wish I knew more. He’s written a few letters to Margaret, but hasn’t sent any. He’d rather talk to her in person (he’s brave). I told him I’d help him out however I can. Who knows . . . maybe a road trip is in our future! Okay, that’s a long shot. I still haven’t even met Jackson. I hope to soon.
Jackson does want to go ahead and re-submit DNA to another company to confirm our father/daughter match. I’m fine with that, so hopefully we’ll be doing that soon. I think I will also submit samples from both of my sons at the same time. Perhaps a double dose of an instant grandson matches might convince him beyond a reasonable doubt that he is my biological father.
If you’ll recall, a few months ago when Jackson suggested sending in another sample he thought it would also be a good idea to have his other daughter submit a sample, too. I thought that would be cool–a sister. But apparently she’s not interested. I don’t know exactly how she feels about my arrival on the scene, but she is not interested in sending in a DNA sample to help her father out. It’s also apparent that she isn’t interested in developing a relationship with her biological half-sister. At least not yet. That’s okay . . . remember Richard Hill’s story? These things take time. And I know from past experience you just can’t rush (or force) these things.
The two hardest tests on the spiritual road are the patience to wait for the right moment and the courage not to be disappointed with what we encounter. — Paulo Coelho, Veronika Decides to Die